Practicing empathy and humility instead of judgment

Today, I will be leading a 2 hour interactive introduction to collective leadership for a group of local high school teachers and administrators. And I couldn't be more excited to work with this audience. And yet, last night, as I was doing my final prep with my internal sponsor, who is a career teacher in her early forties (I think?), she said "I know this is a bit of a step down for you, because you are used to working with corporate leaders, but I think this audience will really get value from what you are bringing".

My first reaction was to think that she didn't understand how challenging it could be to work with corporate leaders! But then I realized what an unfair statement that would have been. In fact, I ran two incredibly gratifying workshops with corporate leaders from two different industries this week, and met some incredible change leaders.

I realized I did not want to add to the current judgmental storyline that is pervasive now - a storyline about evil corporations - maligned as being "selfish, corrupt, profiteering, exploitive of humans and the environment" and "too big to fail". The judgment or bashing comes from many directions - but ultimately - it arises from individuals like you and me who state a public opinion about the moral values and activities of a company as if "it" has a mind of "it's own". And as if it has "one mind". And then, often, we will further aggregate the sins of one company to an entire industry (the evils of petroleum companies, of pharmaceutical companies, of the finance industry, of the automotive industry. Or we will villainize an entire profession, e.g. teachers.... "they have summers off, they get tenure and then we are stuck with lazy, burned out teachers that only care about their pension, they don't understand "real work" or the "real world", they never really left high school....".

Remember the song from The Osmonds?

One bad apple don't spoil the whole bunch, girl.
Oh, give it one more try before you give up on love.
One bad apple don't spoil the whole bunch girl.
Oh, I don't care what they say,
I don't care what you heard.

I suggest that we STOP judging entire professions and industries and entities (shall we talk politics?), and start remembering that these entities are actually made up of human beings like me and you. Imperfect for sure - at least I am... But also full of dreams, aspirations, disappointments, fear, hope, purpose, apathy, and each and every person in these organizations was once a child.

Empathy is defined as the ability to understand and share the feelings of another. It is hard to feel empathy for a corporation. But we can certainly feel empathy for the individuals who work inside of the corporation, or in government, or in our schools. And if we can't quite connect emotionally enough to feel empathy, might we at take a stab at humility? While the Oxford dictionary defines humility as "a modest or low view of oneself", I prefer to think of it in this way - we don't know what we don't know.

“It is unwise to be too sure of one's own wisdom. It is healthy to be reminded that the strongest might weaken and the wisest might err.”
― Mahatma Gandhi

I have never been a teacher. I have never been a government official. I have never run for office. I have never worked for a petroleum company. But I know good people who have. I know them well. I've heard them talk passionately about their work, and why they chose their profession, why they chose their company, what they struggle with, and how they want to make their world better.

So, I can't wait to go work with these high school teachers and administrators today. They invited me in because they care deeply about their students and the future of education. I only hope that I can bring value and tools that will accelerate their success.

Kudos to Emma Watson - inspiring and activating men and women to see gender bias more completely as a human rights issue that hurts both sexes

Inspiring and activating men and women to work together to end gender bias. This is a very thoughtful speech and movement (HeForShe - UN). Emma Watson talks about gender equality, for women and men. The issues are not only about equal rights for women globally, but about the negative impacts of gender profiling on both sexes. About equal pay for women, and for "strong" women to be viewed as strong not bossy, but also about the importance of accepting vulnerability as a human condition, that men can express their feelings without being viewed as "weak". To tie in the suicide rate of young men into this issue was not what I expected, and yet I do understand. We create gender based societal stereotypes and expectations that hurt both genders. And the UN is calling for a collective movement and commitment from all people, men and women, to change this.

This all shows up in the workplace as well of course. And there is a huge push for women to "break" the glass ceiling to rise above the "sticky floor" and to "lean in". I see this a bit differently - I see male and female leaders both that are collaborative and labelled as "not decisive". I see leaders that don't accept the status quo be labelled as "difficult to manage", when their intention is to drive innovation or improvement.

If we want to truly address these significant global challenges - like gender equality - we need to leverage the unique strengths of every person, regardless of race, sex, or any other "difference". We need to bring forth our most authentic selves, our unique strengths and voices, and to fully respect and call forth the authentic strengths of others. Our differences make us collectively STRONGER. Imagine a world where we all understand who we are at our best, and what we can most contribute to the world around us by the age of 20 or 25. And in that same world, where we are given the opportunity in high school, college and in our early careers to take turns "leaning in" to co-lead with our peers - who are equally clear about their own strengths. Where differences are cherished and leveraged, not just tolerated... I believe we are on a path to this future - and efforts like HeForShe will help us get there. And ultimately, it's up to each of us to do our part.

http://www.vanityfair.com/vf-hollywood/2014/09/emma-watson-un-speech-feminism

Calling "the crazy ones" - the ones who think they can change the world... (is that you??)

I received a framed version of this quote back in my IBM days, as an acknowledgement of the work we were doing with leaders at IBM, bringing in more of a coaching culture.

And it resonated deeply with me. And helped me to see things differently... Because, well, at least I knew that I wasn't alone in feeling like a square peg in a round hole! It gave me HOPE that maybe, just maybe, I could be a game changer or even a world changer! And so I continued to work passionately for what mattered to me at the time: on nurturing the health of my family (due to a health crisis at home) and at IBM by helping to leaders to extend their leadership styles to include coaching and "bigger game" thinking in order to create high performance teams that respected individual strengths and values.

As I continued to evolve in my own leadership journey, I was inspired by my kids to make sure I did my best to make the world a good place for future generations - I often found myself in the role of the "crazy one", or the "positive deviant", and I learned much about operating as an internal change agent, and the enablers and barriers of change. You might find more hope and inspiration here in this article from HBR about the role of positive deviance and unlikely innovators.

Today, I am inspired to see pioneers in every industry working hard to make positive change happen in different ways:

• by making sustainability real - with meaningful action

• by working to get healthy food into school cafeterias

• by working on healthcare and insurance reform

• by piloting new innovative alternative or integrated healthcare approaches

• by building better buildings, transportation systems, manufacturing processes that consume less and produce less waste

• etc... the list is endless and inspiring...

Society is a living organism, and has a need for all of us square pegs or "positive deviants". My current work is in bringing new solutions and methods to "the crazy ones" - the pioneering leaders that are committed to making the world (or some part of it!) better. And it is about working smarter - and leading in new ways. Instead of individual herculean efforts, leaders of change must leading collectively - leveraging the unique strengths of others who are aligned with their vision - to make change happen faster.

Which way is up? Seeing things differently and a view worth saving...

While so much of the world is focused on "the internet of things" and innovating with technology, my focus is on the human systems (you and me and our organizations and networks). And if you are one of the "crazy ones", know that you are not alone and there are solutions that can greatly accelerate your success! Solutions and methods like The Bigger Game and Collective Leadership - which I use with organizational leaders who are looking at amplifying their impact in their company, their industry, and their value chain.

I don't work alone (it's hard being crazy alone - and I've found out it's not really an effective way to bring about change!). I have been inspired to work with others, including the late Laura Whitworth, and the very alive Rick Tamlyn who co-created the Bigger Game model and have inspired a network of Bigger Game leaders and coaches. I have also been privileged to work closely with co-founders ofPresenceAtWork, Jane Weber and Roelien Bokxem - they are pioneers in bringing a new kind of leadership development into the world - and I am now certified to lead this work in the US.

What about you? Who are your most important allies? Have you looked in your toolbox lately? What can you share here - insights for others transformational leaders? Let's not "go it alone" - there's way too much good work to be done!